This book appeared in my suggested reads on amazon, and glancing no further than the title I pressed the order button and it arrived a few days later. Whilst consulting I meet and talk with many people every day and I was expecting this book to give me tips to make that easier.
However this book was not what I was expecting. It has however left me wondering how many things that at first glance go so much deeper. Communication is so important, yet it is so horrendously hard to do right. Science can help make it easier; however it can also show where it goes disastrously wrong.
This book starts by looking at lies and deception. How do you know when someone is telling the truth? How do people not see how someone is lying to them? How spies inside intelligence organisations get away with it. To the mundane how did they get away with an affair for so long? The experiments that show this are simple, yet science doesn’t lie. We as humans are programmed to default to truth until we have evidence otherwise.
Why do some people clash? It’s simply a mismatch – where communication does not translate equally for the two people. What impact does alcohol have? Simply about the quantity – a certain blood alcohol level causes amnesia.
And how police can effectively reduce crime? Simple science showed how a simple technique resulted in a massive reduction in crime rates. Yet this didn’t turn out the way the scientists intended when it was rolled out nationwide. In fact since it was rolled out nationwide it has resulted in deaths. How does this link into suicide? Something called coupling. Amazingly in the UK the move from coal gas to natural gas reduced the suicide rate in females. Unlike my usual day or two it takes to read a book, this one took a couple of weeks for me to work through and digest. As much as I didn’t want to put it down, it needed focus to understand. The contents should be something that is taught to everyone. I’ve been left with much to think about and will be pondering just how effective communication is in my next consult.
